and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize