I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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