He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
