Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
