Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
