she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
