You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
