508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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