And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
