mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
