Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You can't just leave with hair like that
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
