I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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