I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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