I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize