But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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