i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
