We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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