isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
