sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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