Soap is not a condiment
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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