I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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