I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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