Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
