went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
