It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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