I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
May the power of my ass compel you!!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
