I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
