I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
