No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I understand Curling. That high.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
