does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Nobody cheats on THIS.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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