Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
