no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
