just tell him i said nine months
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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