Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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