ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
