I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
