well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
