just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
