Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Small penises have feelings too.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Randomize
