Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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