She's JV to your varsity
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
