so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
