I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So many bounce houses so little time
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
