Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
