Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
