Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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