I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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