Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
