dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
