Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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