return my video game
I wish I could teleport
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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