please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
