definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
