I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
