First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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