The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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