I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
