So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize