I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
